Identity, Change, and Showing Up Anyway

When life shifts, identity shifts with it.

You change roles: mother, partner, leader, athlete: and suddenly the way you see yourself feels unsteady. Change is rarely just logistical. It is existential. Who am I now, when I cannot show up in the way I once did?

Psychologist James Marcia described identity as fluid, not fixed, moving through cycles of exploration and re-commitment. More recently, researcher Herminia Ibarra (author of Working Identity) has shown that we don’t think our way into new identities. We live into them, through small, repeated actions.

That’s why showing up matters. Even when you feel fragmented. Even when you don’t yet believe in this “new you.” Each step you take, on the trail, at work, in community - is part of rehearsing and inhabiting your evolving self.

This is especially true for women. So often our identities are relational, shaped by what others need from us. Motherhood, caregiving, career pivots, hormonal changes: they don’t just alter our schedules. They alter our sense of who we are

But identity is not lost in transition. It is reformed.

Change is not a threat to who you are. It’s an invitation to expand who you are becoming.

So when identity feels unsettled, try this:

• Act into it: don’t wait to feel like the “new you” before moving. Movement shapes belief.
• Hold it lightly: identity isn’t fixed. It’s flexible, responsive, and resilient.
• Anchor values, not labels: roles will shift, but values travel with you. They become your through-line.

Reflection Prompt

• Where am I waiting to “feel ready” before stepping into a new identity?
• What small action could I take today to rehearse who I am becoming?